søndag den 10. november 2013

Today's trouble

Three hours ago, I bit my tongue. It caused a lot of bleeding. Blood and snot got mixed up in my mouth and as a consequence, there has been a direct route for bacteria to travel into the wound on my tongue. It would be interesting if something unfamiliar happens in the coming days, so I just wanted to mention it here. So if I stop writing this blog, I'm probably dead from the newly spread infection ;-)

onsdag den 6. november 2013

Sharp heart pain (and a conversation with my mother)

I was doing the dishes five minutes ago and my heart suddenly had a sharp pain, like something that would happen if you've ran a marathon.

As I sit at the computer, it persists, although not in the same degree.

It also happened this friday while I was asleep. I woke up with the pains and couldn't breathe fully in or fully out. I could only take small breaths to avoid the sharp pains.

I called the "24/7-telephone-doctor" and got an open appointment at the hospital, but I didn't go there. Now I might go today since it returned and I have some data on what happened after the first "strike" (nothing really happened).

edit: now 30 minutes later, it is still there. I'm sitting on my chair and it has intensified. I'm a little bit concerned.

edit2: Now, two hours later, the pain is gone. While I was in pain, I googled 'lyme sharp heart pain' and stumbled on an unrelated story about a woman who killed herself, told by her brother. The story made me call my mother, a bit frustrated that I haven't seen the same kind of support from her. It evovled into a long (49min) conversation about state-approved treatment versus private treatment. She is against private treatment for political/ideological reasons. I called her lack of support "ethically undefendable" out of frustration for a start, but we had a nice conversation where she said she supports whatever I do. She said she would like to accompany me on any potential trips for treatment abroad. I came to think of a documentary about danish hospitals, where a journalist took a 'bacteria detector' into hospital wards and discovered that most hospital beds and critical surfaces were full of bacteria. The staff commented "but it looks clean". He commented that it's funny to look for bacteria when you can't see them. That's how I feel about the diagnosis for lyme. Doctors just follow their duty, content to do "enough" for their paycheck, enough for the guidelines to have been followed. When they should really be their own critics and say: "I can't see bacteria, so they're not there. But what if there are bacteria I can't see?"..... "I can't see bacteria in your borrelia test, so they're not there. But what if there are bacteria it can't see?".. I know the analogy is simplistic and stupid, but it's the same attitude in both cases. Uncertainty should be acknowledged. Anyway, the real heavy reason for this edit is that my mother said she also has twitches every night. She has spent much more time than I in that garden. She has had more ticks than I. Now it's an emotionally difficult dilemma for me, since I'm the only one who understands the serious implications. I'm the only one who would be able to stand up against the dogmas and challenge them for her. She thinks she's doing fine though, and I pretty much believe her when she says she'll be alright. But still, it feels like I should be wary.... no one else can have that responsibility.

Oh except the doctors, but they're not taking it.